One of our core values here at Explore Communications is responsibility & accountability. The savvy reader may claim us irresponsible and hold us accountable to that actually being two values rather than just one, but we have an ampersand exception in our company handbook that enables us to combine multiple things into one. Its good to be king.
In addition to our core values, we follow ten principles of a happy workplace because we like being happy. One of those principles is integrity. You wouldn’t think a legit company would need to list integrity as something they do, but unfortunately not everyone is Andy Griffith in the advertising industry. Read on.
I was at the grocery store the other day and impulsively picked up a 200-count canister of Tic Tacs while waiting in the checkout line.
It was taking forever because the lady in front of me contested the cost of some cat food. She and the clerk just couldn’t agree on what it should be which made me want to do two things:
- Pay for the cat food myself at the higher price
- Tell the lady this is a prime example of why cats suck. Get a fish.
I guess it’s not the cat’s fault but then again, I did sneeze eleventyfour times while waiting in line which is awfully suspicious since I had taken an allergy pill that morning. Cats are evil and I believe they can taunt by proximity and/or osmosis.
Anyway, the cat lady finally moved along and I was able to make my purchases with nary a disagreement on costs (I don’t have a cat). I loaded the groceries in my truck, hopped in and of course the first thing I did was open the Tic Tacs.
I did what every Tic Tac consumer in the entire universe does – I poured out a small handful and shoveled them all in my face at once. The drive home was five minutes and I may or may not have repeated this face shoveling (twice).
I parked my truck and eyeballed the 200-count canister of Tic Tacs. I was curious as to what exactly is in a Tic Tac besides a shot of pure sugar (94.5% sugar, FYI). Upon looking at the ingredients, I saw this:
A serving is one Tic Tac? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? There is not a human, alien or cat lady (yes, they are their own category) in this universe that only takes one Tic Tac and calls it a day until the next time they need a breath refresher. So this canister is supposed to last me 200 days? Fine, for arguments sake, lets say the average consumer takes two servings per day. So, I need less than four canisters of Tic Tacs per year? Phhhhhhhhhhhbbbbbbbbbbbbttttttt.
False advertising! Incorrect packaging claims! Laurel! Yanny! This is ridiculous! I can guarantee you my 200-count bucket of Tic Tacs will be gone within a week. Shame on you Ferrero (makers of Tic Tacs). Where is your integrity???? This is irresponsible and I hold you accountable to blatantly incorrect packaging. For serving size it should say “handful.” For servings per container it should say “a few days, max.”
In protest, I’d suggest banning all Tic Tacs (and cats), however these little capsules of nearly pure sugar are soooo tasty, I’d just like a formal apology from Ferrero, and maybe a year’s supply (between 52 and 104 canisters of 200-count) of Tic Tacs would work as well.